A Holiday Affirmation Letter

 For those feeling particularly plagued this holiday season by demands on time, attention, desirability, likability, and – that fickle friend – technology. 

Dear you,

Just a reminder that your value is not determined by how quickly you respond to messages; how frequently you pick up calls; how much you interact on social media; or how much you Snapchat, IG, WhatsApp, whatever.

I mean, how fucking exhausting and unsustainable is that measure?

Rather — your energy in someone’s presence; the warmth you emit through twinkling eyes; the boisterousness of your laugh; the support that you give in the form of warm words, “I love you’s”, warm meals, and a bed to sleep in — these are hallmarks of your worth.

Which is immeasurable. You must believe this. Not in these back-and-forth screen games that other people wanna play.

You must refuse to checkmark your relationships, to follow if:then rules about how you should receive love:

If you do X; you will be loved

If you do not; you will be abandoned

Fuck that. Relationships are not a check list. Reciprocated love is not an algorithm you can crack.

You must believe that the people who love you, love you for your presence and energy; for what you give in time and attention and devotion, not for quick quotas met on a screen.

Check that.


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